Hello again. Ya know, lifes complicated isnt it. lol... Sounds cliche i know. But how true that cliche is. Thats why its a cliche, because everyone says it. Cuz its true. lol. Anyways. I was lookin back at some of my past few entrys and was like man the guy writing these must not be the same on the inside as everyone sees. Then I realized. All of the problems I was having, well most of them, hadnt really changed much. The girls... still the same, I mean im learning to accept it, as bad as that sounds. The friends, good in someways and in others bad. I also noticed that Im still struggling to become the christian I want to be. Last Wed. I went to church and just talked to God for like 15 min, but I mean, while I was talking to him, I realized that he already knew all the things I was telling him, and then I was filled with a strong feeling of disgust of myself. Because all the time I talk about how people turn their back on me. Then when I look at the God perspective I see ME, Brian, turning my back constantly on the one who has never turned his back on me. WHY do I do this. It makes me sick. It should make us all sick. Anyways, I have so many things on my mind right now, that I just dont know where to start. There is a girl, but It just dont seem like she pays any notice, lol, and then there are friends throwing their life away and when I try to step in and help. They ignore me. I dont know what to do about anything.

Well on a happier note I got to hang out with some awesome girls this weekend, and saw a great bball game saturday night. Yall have a good one.

Ok I have to admit something... I like someone now... I know lately I have liked a few people here and there but this time Im actually into someone and have had a thing for them for some time now... Now I can't say the name, because I dont know how ready I am to tell them, but I mean, shes freakin unreal. Like I havent even found out one thing about her that makes me a little unattracted or anything. She has great morals, and she is so down to earth. I make her laugh too, and lately its been hard for me to find people that I can bring that kind of joy to. I dont know. She is pretty amazing an all so I dont know my chances, but out of all the "could have been" relationships, this is the first time I have actually had a ... lol... well ... crush I guess you could say. I just dont know what she thinks about me, and if you have talkedto me about relationships then you know that Im one that has to know what the other person is thinking. I dont know. I cant keep this girl out of my head, so I mean, I had to say something somewhere. I just hope things work out, because it would be a huge thing right now with all this stupid crap Im trying to sort out with my self. Oh well... sorry to ramble on... LEAVE COMMENTS PLEASE!

:)

TEXAS WON THE FREAKIN ROSE BOWL... Most you girls dont care but ahh well... Im a happy camper now... More to come later. Ive got a few things on my mind... ill let it out later..

HOLLA